Dealing With Loss

 

My mom passed away last week. She had a long, full life – she was almost 103 years old when she died. She lived in her own home until she was 101. She had a sharp decline in her functioning early last year and had to be placed in a nursing home due to dementia and frailty. I was sad for her because she would rather have died than to lose her faculties and have to depend on others to do everything for her. It made me think about the losses in our lives.

 

When we or a loved one suffer a loss, it can have severe practical, emotional, and psychological implications. I won’t pretend that a few words can make sense of it all but I have some thoughts.

 

My accountant’s mind tells me that everything has to balance. For a Christian, every loss must have a corresponding gain, even if we don’t know what it is at the time. To believe otherwise is to say that God isn’t all loving and all powerful if He would allow us to suffer without any good to come from it.

 

Paul gave up His favored status among the Jews to preach the saving power of Jesus, willingly accepting persecutions and trials. He wrote to the Philippians, “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:8). We have a Savior who suffered and died for us. His suffering was greater than we will ever experience. If our goal in life is to be more like Jesus, perhaps the suffering and loss that we experience in some way make us more like Him.

 

It’s okay to grieve and feel sorrow after a loss – Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb. Our sorrow is tempered by hope, because we know that our God “…..heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). Jesus tells us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). It’s okay to ask “why?” as long as we are not doing it in an accusatory manner. God may answer us now or at some future date, although most likely we won’t know until we get to heaven and then it won’t matter anymore.

 

Paul’s last words to Timothy were, “The time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:6-8). I believe those words hold true for my mom, and my prayer for all our loved ones is that they may someday know this as well.

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The individual posts in this blog have been collected into a book, Reflections From the Basic Truths Blog.  It is available for free as an ebook through Barnes and Noble, https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reflections-from-the-basic-truths-blog-james-yarmchuk/1147055811?ean=2940181202702, Apple Books, and multiple other book websites. It is available for a minimal charge on Amazon and can also be purchased as a paperback through them.