Spiritually Harmful Relationships

 

I once calculated that I had written over one hundred thousand prescriptions during my medical career. Every time you write a prescription, you have to consider any possible interactions with other medications. Sometimes these interactions are positive, such as blood pressure or chemotherapy medications that work better when paired with a similar medication. Other times the interaction is a negative one which could possibly cause harm to the patient.

 

Last week, I talked about those sins and habits that can be spiritually poisonous to us. Our relationships and interactions with others can also be spiritually harmful.

 

We have a multitude of interactions with people each day. Some are family-related (spouse, children, parents, siblings), others are social (friends, dating) or professional, while others may revolve around church activities. These interactions, and the relationships underlying them, can be positive and uplifting or negative and toxic. Our goal should be to nurture the positive relationships and improve or walk away from those which are harmful.

 

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to relationship issues because they are so different. The bonds of marriage are much stronger than a friendship that can end without consequence. Also, the issues are too complex and potentially life-altering to give a simple pat answer in a few paragraphs. However, there are some basic principles that can be applied.

 

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  (2 Corinthians 6:14)

We should be careful about entering into a relationship with someone who is not a believer. Problems can arise when our core values are not aligned with the other person. Eventually that mismatch will cause conflict or, worse, we will be tempted to compromise our beliefs. Sometimes, it isn’t practical to completely end a relationship, as in some family or business matters. In this event, we need to be faithful to our convictions, striving to be a witness for God.

 

 “I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them” (Romans 16:17)

We all have met people who seem to delight in putting others down and causing strife and division in whatever setting they are in. We should avoid giving any indication that we support their activities and separate ourselves as best as we can. We are not to be judgmental, but we should be discerning.

 

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared” (Proverbs 22:24-25)

We are called to live in peace. If you are constantly being exposed to angry or abusive words or actions, you need to distance yourself from the other person. You should pray for them and for direction for yourself. You can try to get them to seek help but you must realize that only they can help themselves.

 

“God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

We need to flee any relationship that is leading us into sin or turning us away from God. The other person doesn’t even have to be doing anything wrong. It may just be that the particular situation is one in which temptation rears its ugly head and catches us in an area in which we are weak.

 

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6)

Not every interaction that upsets us is a sign of a bad relationship. We may get aggravated by what someone says to us but it takes a true friend to say something unpleasant in order to help us. God may be using that person to send a message, but we may be rebelling against it. When we find ourselves getting upset, we should stop for a minute and see if God is trying to speak to us.

 

You should seek out good Christian counsel for those problems that are greater than you are able to deal with on your own.

 

Next week we’ll look at how we build up and nurture positive relationships.

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The individual posts in this blog have been collected into a book, Reflections From the Basic Truths Blog.  It is available for free as an ebook through Barnes and Noble, https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reflections-from-the-basic-truths-blog-james-yarmchuk/1147055811?ean=2940181202702, Apple Books, and multiple other book websites. It is available for a minimal charge on Amazon and can also be purchased as a paperback through them.